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Monday
8/21/17
 
Grounded for Life Mustang Lily (TV-14) Sean ruins his chance of getting a loan from Claudia's father when he loses Lily's car in a street race; Henry and Jimmy try to get money from the Tooth Fairy.
Grounded for Life Cat Scratch Fever (TV-14) Sean decides to hire his old high school crush as the bartender; Lily goes crazy after telling Dean she loves him without being able to hear his response.
Grounded for Life Drive Me Crazy (TV-14) Sean sabotages Lily's behind-the-wheel driving test, and she fails it for the second time; Claudia tries to keep Henry and Jimmy from playing a violent game.
Grounded for Life Just Like a Woman (TV-14) When Sean has problems changing the flat tire on his car, he is mocked and forced to dress in women's clothing as a trucker is flagged down for help.
Empty Nest It's Not Easy Being Green (TV-PG) Harry helps Laverne hand out candy to children on Halloween night; Carol and Patrick are mugged on their way home from a costume party.
Empty Nest Dirty Harry (TV-PG) Carol convinces Harry to join her on an appearance on the Geraldo Rivera show; a young patient tries to get taller so he can ride an amusement park ride.
 
Tuesday
8/22/17
 
Grounded for Life Henry's Been Working for the Drug Squad (TV-14) After learning about drugs in school, Henry believes his family is on drugs and tries to do something to set them straight, especially when he finds a plant.
Grounded for Life Cuts Like a Knife (TV-14) Sean lies to Claudia about finally getting a vasectomy and fights off her amorous advances; Brad pays Lily to tutor him even though he doesn't need it.
Grounded for Life Who Are You? (TV-14) Sean and Claudia learn that Jimmy has been shoplifting; Lily worries about what to wear to dinner with Dean's parents; Henry brings his class' lizard home.
Grounded for Life Welcome to the Working Week (TV-14) Lily goes on a shopping spree with her emergency credit card; Eddie is angry over a scornful review of the bar; Henry takes energy preservation to an extreme.
Empty Nest The Fracas in Vegas (TV-PG) Harry and Charley take an ill-conceived trip to Las Vegas for a boxing match; Emily's strategy to make Carol feel guilty backfires on her.
Empty Nest Pardon My Flashback (TV-PG) The Westons welcome over Laverne and Charley to watch the Super Bowl, but they end up reminiscing on some of the memorable experiences they've shared.
 
Wednesday
8/23/17
 
Grounded for Life Claudia in Disguise with Glasses (TV-14) Claudia causes mayhem at a wedding reception; Lily wants the perfect birthday gift; Brad begins to spend way too much time with Jimmy.
Grounded for Life Tonight's the Night (TV-14) Sean throws a sweet-sixteen birthday party for Lily; Lily has romantic plans for Dean; Dean fails to meet Lilly's expectations on her sixteenth birthday.
Grounded for Life Part Time Lover (TV-14) Lily gets Walt an online date when he finds himself with an abundance of free time and starts to drive Lily crazy after the dump closes.
Grounded for Life Your Father Should Know, Part 1 (TV-14) Sean learns that he is the last member of the family to discover Lily and Brad have consummated their relationship; Eddie gives grifting lessons.
Empty Nest Aunt Verne Knows Best (TV-PG) Laverne's nephew visits from college, but her controlling nature starts to limit his enjoyment; Carol is worried about her impending anniversary's meaning.
Empty Nest My Mother, My Self (TV-PG) Charley's mother comes to inform him that she and his father have divorced, and she ends up falling in love with Harry; Carol meets Patrick's mother.
 
Thursday
8/24/17
 
Grounded for Life Your Father Should Know, Part 2 (TV-14) Claudia tries to make peace with Brad's parents since he and Lily are dating; Jimmy and Henry use Eddie's coin collection to play video games.
Grounded for Life All the Young Nudes (TV-14) Sean and Eddie hire strippers for the bar for financial assistance, and they wind up being protested by the PTA; Brad asks Lily to break up with Dean.
Grounded for Life I Right the Wrongs (TV-14) Lily is embarrassed to be seen with Brad; Sean accidentally gets a student suspended from school; Jimmy's "trademark" hair-length becomes an issue at school.
Grounded for Life Oh, What a Knight (TV-14) Sean joins Walter's Knights of Hibernia Lodge so that Lily can be eligible to participate in their beauty pageant in order to feel special.
Empty Nest Mom's the Word (TV-PG) Carol is confused about how she should approach her date, and whether or not to tell him she is pregnant; Laverne and Maxine disagree over baby shower plans.
Empty Nest Diary of a Mad Housewife (TV-PG) Carol reads some of the entries in her mother's old diary that make her feel that the pregnancy that resulted in her birth was unplanned.
 
Friday
8/25/17
 
Grounded for Life I Just Paid to Say I Love You (TV-14) Brad plans a romantic date for Lily in New York; Eddie breaks a window in the sewing room; Henry wants to keep an animal that walks in as a pet.
Grounded for Life S.A.T. and Sympathy (TV-14) Lily and Brad worry about their S.A.T. tests, so Claudia turns the examinations into a competition; Sean teaches Henry a lesson when he takes in a homeless man.
Grounded for Life Pay You Back with Interest (TV-14) Claudia's college enrollment check bounces after Sean gives Eddie a loan to buy an eco-friendly car to impress a woman; Lily wants her "Dean" tattoo removed.
Grounded for Life Ticket to Ride (TV-14) Without success, Lily attempts to hide her first hangover after a night of partying; Sean passes a severe judgment on Lily; Sean and Claudia sell Lily's car.
Empty Nest Love a la Mode (TV-PG) Charley announces his plans to marry a local waitress; Laverne finds out she and Maxine have the same birthday, and uses it to justify their similarities.
Empty Nest What's a Mother to Do? (TV-PG) Carol joins a mother support group and feels that her parenting skills have a long way to go, especially after she leaves something very important in the car.
 
Saturday
8/26/17
 
Cybill Going to Hell in a Limo, Part 1 (TV-14) Cybill's new prime-time science fiction show takes off, but her lead role gets a reprise when her sleazy co-star begins sleeping with the female producer.
Cybill Going to Hell in a Limo, Part 2 (TV-14) Knowing that something shady is afoot, Cybil, her producer friend Amy and Maryann try to trap Buddy into enlightening them about Jack's change of heart.
Cybill Buffalo Gals (TV-14) Cybill convinces Maryann to go back to Buffalo, N.Y., and attend her 25-year high school reunion, but family causes Maryann to ditch the reunion.
Cybill A Hell of a Christmas (TV-PG) Cybill's domineering mother drops in for a visit over the holidays, but seems to shower Rachel with affection, while paying no mind to Zoey.
Ellen Salad Days (TV-PG) Ellen becomes inspired to throw an extravagant dinner party after meeting Martha Stewart, and her guest list leads to the event being a truly unique one.
Ellen The Movie Show (TV-PG) Ellen's excitement about having a movie filmed in her bookstore is quickly lost when she is shocked by Paige's obnoxious show-biz personality.
 
Sunday
8/27/17
 
I Love You to Death (TV-14, R, **+) A woman decides to get rid of her cheating husband and enlists her mother, a young admirer and two stoned hit men to help her carry out her plot.
It Could Happen to You (TV-PG, PG, **+) When a cop promises to split his lottery winnings with a waitress and then hits the jackpot, he plans to honor his agreement, but his wife has plans of her own.
 
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6:30 AM
7 AM
7:30 AM
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8:30 AM
Monday
8/28/17
 
Grounded for Life Smells Like Teen Spirit (TV-14) Jimmy reaches puberty and starts to spread a strong odor; Sean talk to Jimmy about the birds and the bees; Sean and Eddie develop a rivalry over Jimmy.
Grounded for Life Baby Come Back (TV-14) Claudia models for a fashion photographer; Claudia storms away from Sean and leaves him to deal with a bath products party; Lily sees her yearbook photos.
Grounded for Life Been Caught Stealing (TV-14) Sean and Eddie arrive at the bar to learn they've been robbed; Walt suspiciously insists on cleaning instead of calling the cops; Lily and Brad get in a fight.
Grounded for Life She's Got Kegs (TV-14) Claudia and Lily run into each other at a Fraternity party after they lie and say they have homework to do; Brad accidentally sees Claudia naked.
Empty Nest Half That Jazz (TV-PG) Harry convinces one of his favorite jazz artists to come out retirement and play at a benefit concert he's putting together; Sophia puts a hex on Charley.
Empty Nest A Foreign Affair (TV-PG) Maxine's boyfriend asks her to marry him; Sophia and Harry get Carol hooked on gambling on dog races, just as she was discovering the guitar.
 
Tuesday
8/29/17
 
Grounded for Life My Ex-Boyfriend's Back (TV-14) Lily grows angry after she meets her ex-boyfriend's date; events from Claudia and Sean's lives are comedy gold for Eddie's new comedy career.
Grounded for Life Communication Breakdown (TV-14) Sean forgets to give Claudia a message from her professor; Jimmy hides the phone bill to cover his long distant calls; Lily worries when Brad doesn't call.
Grounded for Life All Apologies (TV-14) During a romantic getaway at a hotel, Claudia and Sean are shocked when they watch an adult film and realize it was filmed in their home.
Grounded for Life I Think We're Alone Now (TV-14) Sean and Claudia attempt to take advantage of an empty house by spending more alone time together; Sean and Claudia get a free, in-house massage.
Empty Nest Mrs. Clinton Comes to Town (TV-PG) Carol's overzealous pursuit of getting an interview with Hillary Clinton results in her getting thrown in jail, alongside Laverne and Charley.
Empty Nest A Chip Off the Old Charley (TV-PG) Charley discovers that he has a 17-year-old son who is now a flutist; Carol fills in for Laverne at the clinic, and admonishes Maxine about her smoking.
 
Wednesday
8/30/17
 
Grounded for Life Can't Get Next to You (TV-14) Eddie discovers that Walt forced him to become right-handed; the teenagers sign pledges at school to stay abstinent, and Sean tries to make Brad feel guilty.
Grounded for Life Racketman (TV-14) After losing terribly to Sean in a tennis match, Brad's father reveals he has not been taking lessons but having an affair; Jimmy loses something important.
Grounded for Life Me and Mrs. O (TV-14) In order to cheer Brad up during his parent's divorce, the Finnerty's throw him a birthday party, but Sean wants to try and get his parents back together.
Grounded for Life Tombstone Blues (TV-14) Lily pitches a fit when Brad is not allowed to pose in a family portrait; Claudia learns that Walt buried his dead cat in the family plot reserved for her.
Empty Nest Single White Male (TV-PG) Harry and Charley examine their stereotypical attitudes and try to change their ways.
Empty Nest Dear Aunt Martha (TV-PG) Carol believes in romance again after taking her own advice and meeting Mr. Right.
 
Thursday
8/31/17
 
Grounded for Life Pictures of Willy (TV-14) Eddie hatches a daring plan when he attempts to steal back incriminating photos of himself from his ex-girlfriend so she will not ruin his new relationship.
Grounded for Life It's Hard to Be a Saint in the City (TV-14) Sean and Eddie plan a wild St. Patrick's Day celebration, only to discover they forgot to order beer; Brad and Lily work on a parade float.
Grounded for Life Beat on the Brat (TV-14) Sean disciplines one of Henry's disobedient friends; Lily asks Brad to choose between her and his dorky friends; Eddie uses a Jewish online dating service.
Grounded for Life The Cheat Is On (TV-14) Claudia copies Lily's school paper for her college English class, only to find out that Lily plagiarized the essay; Eddie teaches Jimmy how to unhook a bra.
Empty Nest The Ex-Files (TV-PG) Carol fears that she'll lose Kevin after she meets his beautiful ex-wife; Charley sues Harry when he gets sick from old chinese food from their refrigerator.
Empty Nest Stand by Your Man (TV-PG) Laverne and Matt's relationship is threatened when constant interruptions force her to go out without him; Harry finds a woman with a dog like Dreyfuss.
 
Friday
9/1/17
 
Grounded for Life You're So Vain (TV-14) Claudia's father needs a major, undisclosed operation and decides to visit the Finnertys, where everyone but Sean gives him his desired sympathy.
Grounded for Life Pressure Drop (TV-14) Claudia tries to lower Sean's blood pressure by taking on all of his household responsibilities; Lily and Brad lose the car when they search for a new bed.
Grounded for Life Get a Job (TV-14) Sean and Eddie offer Walt a job at the bar, but he soon takes over; Lily is less than thrilled about Brad's new job, which takes up all of his time.
Grounded for Life Space Camp Oddity (TV-14) Brad tires of Lily's refusal to admit he had a girlfriend at space camp; Eddie's girlfriend reveals one of his best-kept secrets to Claudia.
Empty Nest Barbara Gets Shot (TV-PG) Barbara is shot in the line of duty while investigating a police call and Harry grows concerned that her chosen profession is too dangerous.
Empty Nest Fatal Attraction (TV-PG) The death of one of Harry's old friends sparks fears in Carol that the same fate soon awaits her father; Blanche goes to extensive lengths to try to win Harry.
 
Saturday
9/2/17
 
Cybill The Little Drummer Girls (TV-PG) Cybill, in attempt to help them overcome their relationship woes, forces Maryann, Rachel and Zoey to go to a new age drum beating session.
Cybill Bachelor Party (TV-14) Since she was appointed by Ira to be his best man, Cybill must organize the bachelor party, but since Holly says no to a stripper, she does the best she can.
Cybill Little Bo Peep (TV-14) Cybill, while promoting her new television series at a local zoo, is bitten by a lamb on live TV and reacts offensively, causing an animal rights outrage.
Cybill In Her Dreams (TV-PG) After losing her job, Cybill recalls in a flashback how she and Maryann met at an audition on the set of "Rocky"; Kevin gets a job teaching third grade.
Ellen Do You Fear What I Fear? (TV-PG) Ellen is filled with a number of emotions when her parents present her with the gift of a burial plot; Joe and Audrey deal with an eccentric employee.
Ellen Horschak's Law (TV-PG) Ellen is invited to an exclusive birthday party for a celebrity; a limo driver takes the group to the wrong place; Audrey meets the man of her dreams.
 
Sunday
9/3/17
 
Big Business (TV-PG, PG, **+) In a small town in the 1940s, an airheaded nurse mixes up two sets of identical twins born the same night, and the four twins cross paths again 40 years later.
Down and Out in Beverly Hills (TV-14, R, **+) A homeless man shakes things up when he moves in with a dysfunctional family in Beverly Hills, California, and tries to help them overcome their problems.
 
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Comedy
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